Live for yourself.. not others

 Do you constantly trying to prove to others that you are “good enough?”


We must admit that most of our actions are motivated to win the acceptance and admiration of our peers. There is something about pleasing people that pleases us.


Most of the time, it is our personal insecurities that cause this “I need to be good enough for you” mentality. One psychologist said that to even entertain this “I need to be good enough” debate in your head is already a choice to go to the path of unhappiness. For you will never be good enough in your mind. You will always find something that you need to be “good enough” to please others.


To live in the mercy of other’s approval and acceptance is like building your life on shifting sands. People’s opinions are fickle. They love you today and then hate you tomorrow. We can see this with movie stars and music artist. Here today and gone tomorrow. Putting the direction of your life at other’s hands is to miss out your own life.
We need to learn to accept ourselves. Even those things we do not like in ourselves. Accepting does not mean liking what you see, but accepting that they are real. If you have a bad temper, you do not need to like your bad temper. But you must accept that you have one!


Only when we accept ourselves for who we really are can we start to grow. We must accept our strengths and also our weakness, the good and the bad in us. Only when we can look at ourselves objectively can we start changing those aspects of our lives that need improvements.


We must first win the approval of ourselves. I approve of me! Yes I approve of me because God approves of me. If God did not approve of me, I would not even be here.
If you want to win the approval of others, win the approval of the God first. God approves of your creation, but do you think He approves on how you are living your life right now?


But why do we want God’s approval on our lives?


Because we want joy!


Happiness can only be found when we are in line with God’s plan for our lives.

Dream big if u dare to achieve it..

"Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve."
Would you agree with the statement that a dream is born from an idea-a simple idea conceived in the mind?
Back in the 19th century two brothers had an idea which eventually became their passionate and consuming dream. Their relentless pursuit of that dream was rewarded with an accomplishment that changed world travel.
On Friday December 17, 1903 at 10:35 AM, the Wright brothers (Wilbur and Orville) achieved their dream. They flew "the world's first power-driven, heavier-than-air machine in which man made free, controlled, and sustained flight." This memorable feat took place at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina on a cold windy morning.
The dream started with an idea that was planted in their minds by a toy given to them by their father. In the words of the boys, "Late in the autumn of 1878, our father came into the house one evening with some object partly concealed in his hands, and before we could see what it was, he tossed it into the air. Instead of falling to the floor, as we expected, it flew across the room till it struck the ceiling, where it fluttered awhile, and finally sank to the floor." This simple toy made of bamboo, cork and stretched rubber bands, fascinated the Wright brothers and sparked their lifelong interest in human flight.
The Wright brothers were great thinkers. They enjoyed learning new things. Initially, they recycled broken parts, built a printing press and opened their own printing office. Their interest moved to bicycles and in 1893, they opened the Wright Cycle Company where they sold and repaired bicycles. But Wilbur (the older brother) had his mind set on something more exciting. He decided to seriously pursue flying.
The brothers spent many hours researching, testing their machines and making improvements after unsuccessful attempts at human flight. What started out as a hobby soon became a passion. With determination and patience they realized their dream in 1903.
The next time you hear or see an airplane or travel on one, remember where it all started. A simply idea conceived in the minds of two young men who did not finish high school. Believe it or not, they did not have a University degree in Aeronautical Engineering, Mathematics, Physics or any other subject. They were not scientists in the true sense of the word. In fact, many of their peers who did not witness their accomplishment, had trouble believing that two bicycle mechanics from Dayton, Ohio did what they claimed.
What idea or ideas are YOU working on? Have you said you can't do this or that because you are not a scientist? Have you limited yourself by saying you are not smart enough? Or have you joined the majority in saying that everything has already been invented or discovered?
Since the introduction of the first generation of personal computers in 1981, we are able to do many things more efficiently. With a super computer between your ears and the personal computer at your finger tips, your dream can be achieved. First, give birth to that dream with an idea. A simply idea that ANYONE of us can conceive!

Learn from trials....

Have you ever wondered what life really is all about? Have you ever questioned if there is a deeper kind of life than the one you are living?

Most of us seldom ask these questions when life is easy and going our way. We are preoccupied in enjoying ourselves with what we have and we never bother to really meditate about life’s meaning. When everything is all well, we have a tendency to focus on pleasuring ourselves. We have a lot to distract us from asking the big questions in life, like “What is it all about?”

These are where trials can help us.

Trials can be shock therapy to wake us from our self-absorption. When we are stripped of our pleasures and distractions, we are forced to look at life in a different way.

A rich person can fall to the trap of Materialism. His life meaning becomes accumulating objects instead of loving people. Since he has the money to fund his materialism, he can continue to distract himself and live a shallow life till the end of his days. Sometimes loosing his riches is the best remedy for him.

For an addict to be sober he must be cut off from his drugs. It is also true with us. We also need to be separated with the things that feed our disordered desires to achieve sobriety.

If a person thinks that life is all about wealth, and he loses his wealth, he is now forced to look life differently. He is now forced to learn to live life without his precious wealth. Now he is strained to move out from his narrow world and live in the real world. He now starts to search life’s meaning beyond what he always knew.

And those who seek shall find.

 If you are experiencing trials maybe God permitted it to wake you up from your false view of life. Maybe it is God’s way to bring back sobriety in your life by cutting of all your distractions.

Many great people have found life’s meaning at their lowest point in life, maybe you are one of them.

Don’t waste your trials. Use them as opportunity to go deeper in life.

The sacrifice.... a story

There was once a bridge which spanned a large river. During most of the day the bridge sat with its length running up and down the river paralleled with the banks, allowing ships to pass thru freely on both sides of the bridge. But at certain times each day, a train would come along and the bridge would be turned sideways across the river, allowing a train to cross it.
A switchman sat in a small shack on one side of the river where he operated the controls to turn the bridge and lock it into place as the train crossed. One evening as the switchman was waiting for the last train of the day to come, he looked off into the distance thru the dimming twilight and caught sight of the trainlights. He stepped to the control and waited until the train was within a prescribed distance when he was to turn the bridge. He turned the bridge into position, but, to his horror, he found the locking control did not work. If the bridge was not securely in position it would wobble back and forth at the ends when the train came onto it, causing the train to jump the track and go crashing into the river. This would be a passenger train with many people aboard. He left the bridge turned across the river, and hurried across the bridge to the other side of the river where there was a lever switch he could hold to operate the lock manually. He would have to hold the lever back firmly as the train crossed. He could hear the rumble of the train now, and he took hold of the lever and leaned backward to apply his weight to it, locking the bridge. He kept applying the pressure to keep the mechanism locked. Many lives depended on this man's strength.
Then, coming across the bridge from the direction of his control shack, he heard a sound that made his blood run cold. "Daddy, where are you?" His four-year-old son was crossing the bridge to look for him. His first impulse was to cry out to the child, "Run! Run!" But the train was too close; the tiny legs would never make it across the bridge in time. The man almost left his lever to run and snatch up his son and carry him to safety. But he realized that he could not get back to the lever. Either the people on the train or his little son must die. He took a moment to make his decision.
The train sped safely and swiftly on its way, and no one aboard was even aware of the tiny broken body thrown mercilessly into the river by the onrushing train. Nor were they aware of the pitiful figure of the sobbing man, still clinging tightly to the locking lever long after the train had passed. They did not see him walking home more slowly than he had ever walked: to tell his wife how their son had brutally died.

Now if you comprehend the emotions which went this man's heart, you can begin to understand the feelings of our Father in Heaven when He sacrificed His Son to bridge the gap between us and eternal life. Can there be any wonder that He caused the earth to tremble and the skies to darken when His Son died? How does He feel when we speed along thru life without giving a thought to what was done for us thru God????

Live summing up your weakness and failures as well

Most of us have a problem with our self image. I think the root of the problem is that we do not really know who we are. Typically our self image is based on the opinion of others. Growing up we have been labeled and branded by a lot of names, mostly based from our weakness and failures.
“Why you no good…”
“You are such a loser.”
“You will never amount to anything.”
“You’re hopeless”
There are a lot more nasty words that have been spoken to us that have shaped how we see ourselves.
Our past mistakes also have broken our self image. Our mistakes have caused us so much pain that it lead to self-hatred. We have become our own worst critic. Sometimes it is you who put yourself down more than anyone else.
“We are not the sum of our weaknesses and failures; we are the sum of the Father’s love for us and our real capacity to become the image of his Son.”
Our weakness and failure does not define us. Our definition comes from the center of our very being. We are beings created out of the sheer love of God. And that the God has left in each and one of us a seed of greatness. And no matter how broken we are this capacity for greatness remains within. For this capacity comes from the fact that we were created in the image and likeness of God. And that is irrevocable.
We have to start defining ourselves differently. We have to stop summing ourselves by the opinion of the world and start seeing ourselves as God sees us. We are precious. We are beautiful.
We are God’s beloved.
God wants us to be great men and women, like his saints were. But we have to stop putting ourselves down. We have to stop looking down on ourselves and start looking up. And when we start to look up, we will see God’ hand reaching out to us. And He will lift us up.
You are awesome. And no one can take that away from you.
Not even yourself…

Are you really happy????

What delights you? How do you make yourself happy? What is the source of your joy? 
Does shopping delights you? Do you find happiness in being popular among your peers? Is accomplishing your goals bring you joy?
Most of us when we think of happiness we think of getting what we want. The media has done a good job ingraining our minds that if you want to be happy, “then go get some”. We have become a society of “Go Getters!” 
But are we really happy with what we've got? Or do we feel that our joy is lacking or incomplete?
When a rich young man approached god and asked what he still lacked. God answered to sell all his possessions and come follow Him. When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
I once heard a priest  said, “If you feel depressed, go help somebody.”
I have read somwehere, “For it is in giving that we receive.”  Real, deep and abiding joy comes from giving ourselves to others. It is in selflessness and not in selfishness can we find authentic joy. The “Go Givers” are happier than the “Go Getters”. 
If you still have not found the joy that you are looking for, maybe it is time for you to go find it outside of yourself.........

Intelligence in not just trying.....

Have you experience trials in your life? If not, then you must be dead! 

No one escape trials in this life. Only those on the cemetery are free from it. Only those buried six feet underground are resting in peace.
Many of us try to escape our trials in life, only to catch up with us in the end. Unfortunately when it catches up and gets us, it is bigger and meaner. Running away from our trials does not solve anything.
Imagine you are a lazy person. The only thing you do all day long is eat in front of the TV. Your dad noticing that you are becoming unhealthy with the kind of lifestyle you are living. So he decides to get you on a diet and exercise.
If you are a lazy person, your first initial reaction to the diet and exercise is dread and rejection. The diet and exercise to you is a sign of labor and pain. It would also mean lessening your time being a couch potato. So you try to escape it.
But the diet and the exercise are something you need. They are something that can help your body to be healthy again. And the more you are healthy the more you can enjoy life.
I believe God sends us trials for our own sake. We have become obsessed to the least important things in life and have abandoned those things that truly meaningful. We have run after a life of success than of fulfillment and happiness. We have greatly invested on our physical beauty and forgotten to develop our character and inner beauty.
Sometimes God uses trials to get us back in track. Most of us have chosen an unhealthy and worldly lifestyle that is self-destructive. Most of the times trials can knock us back to our senses. It can give us a reality check. All is not well. And most importantly you are not well.

We can view our trials as a health program for the soul. Taken well, it can eliminate those fats in our soul, like laziness, irresponsibility, indifference to the plight of others etc. It can also help us build our character. Trials can strengthen the soul. It can also be a source of wisdom. You are able to see the “real world” and not what is on TV. It can give you a deeper understanding of life, of others and yourself.
Michael Jordan did not become great because he was playing with monkeys. He became great because he was tried and challenged by the best of the best. And he overcame them. MJ won’t be a legend if he defeated monkeys in basketball!
Trials are opportunity for your personal growth and greatness. Do not run away from it.

Where are we heading?????

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Are you the kind of person who moves fast? Do you pursue things with much zeal and impatience?
Moving fast is great, if you are heading the right way. But if you are going the wrong way, you are getting lost fast!
Have you ever asked yourself where exactly are you headed? What is your final destination?
Most of us are caught in the frenzy of pursuing things of this world. We never run out of things to pursue, whether in our careers, businesses or personal lives. We are always on the move trying to get things. We are a society of Go-getters!
But do we actually need the things we are trying to grab? Are the things we are pursuing would make us happy in the end?
Or are we just pursuing them because the media and advertising told us so?
Most of us seldom think about the things we are pursuing. Most of us seldom think who we are as humans. And most of us seldom think what life is all about. Pilling up the things of this world does not guarantee fulfillment. It is like having a great mansion and being all alone in it. Its enormity only makes you realize how alone and lonely you are!
We must first know who we are as humans before we start running after things. To know who you are is to know what will make you really happy. To fail to realize this is to waste your time and energy pursuing empty things. What a waste of life!
So who are we?
We are made in the image and likeness of God. And St John said, “God is love.” So we are beings that are made for love. Love created us, Love sustains us and Love is our end.
Man cannot live without love. He remains a being that is incomprehensible for himself, his life is senseless, if love is not revealed to him, if he does not encounter love, if he does not experience it and make it his own, if he does not participate intimately in it. – John Paul II
Only love can truly make us happy.
If love is not the end of our pursuit, then we are like travelers who traveled the whole world but failed to find a home.
So look at yourself now. After all the pursuit, are you happy?
Or just plain tired?

Love... give and give..

We often hear that to be in a good relationship there has to be a “give and take” within the partners. But I think sometimes the “give and take” mentality can get old quick because it has a tendency to be selfish. I give so I can take. Their giving becomes an indirect egotism.
There is no hidden agenda in real love. You love the person for the sake of the person and not because you can get something out of the person.
A real loving relationship practices “give and give.” There is no need for taking because the longings are being satisfied by the partner even before the other asks for it. A person who is deeply in love is focused on her beloved and not on himself. He wants to make his beloved happy. He puts her before himself every time in every thing. And she does the same.
Both are satisfied and fulfilled.
Both feel loved.
Most of us when we are considering entering into a relationship with someone ask this question, “What can I get from this person?” Another way of putting it is “What can this person give me?”
I think we should have a radical change of attitude if we want to experience real and lasting love. We must change the question “What can I get” to “What can I give to this person?”
The best example of this love is Jesus on the Cross. When Jesus let Himself get crucified, it was solely for you and me. There was no hidden agenda on Jesus’ suffering except our salvation. It was a totally selfless act. Jesus died because He loved you and me.
So if we want to have a beautiful relationship, we must learn to love like Jesus. Our love has to be totally unselfish and self-giving.
There is no greater love than to give one’s life for a friend..

Confidence or simply God-confidence

I have noticed that there are a lot of book about gaining self-confidence. There are also a lot of articles and talks on how to boost your self-esteem. If there are so many books, articles and talks on this topic, it means that there is a big market wanting such information. It also means that there are a lot of people who want to gain self-confidence.
Our society is plague with insecurity (which I personally blame advertising and the media) that self-confidence has become a precious commodity.
Self-confidence is a good thing. It helps one person to be positive and accomplish more. But I also believe it has limits.
Self-confidence is based on your “self.” It is based on what you have or what you can do. If you are honest with yourself, you know you have limits. You know that your self-confidence can only go so far. To go further is an illusion which many pop-psychologists preach these days. 
There is something better than self-confidence. God-confidence!
God-confidence is better because our confidence is based on the one who is God. We all have limits but God does not. When we put our trust on God, we can move mountains. What is impossible for man is possible for God.
Having a God-confidence also makes you more courageous. You know that you are being supported by Someone bigger than you. You know that God’s grace can accomplish anything, so you are not easily disheartened when you encounter a mountain on your way. You know God can move the mountain or lift you up to fly cross it. It also makes you more courageous because you know that God will catch you if you fall or make a mistake.
Having a God-confidence is also better because He does NOT change and we humans do. Self-confidence is based on your personal state. It is dependent on a lot of factors, like your health for one. If those factors are taken away from you, could still be self-confident?
It is hard to put your confidence in shifting sands. Humans are such fragile beings. Our self-confidence may shatter with one disease or accident. Or even just plain old age. But Jesus is eternal. He is unchangeable. He is the Rock we can build our confidence on. Jesus can still make us great even if we are stripped of all our strengths. It will be His strength that will lift us up.
Now THAT is confidence!

Live your DREAMS

Do you wish that right now you are living your dreams?

Maybe you are wishing that right now you are a millionaire or an owner of a company. Or maybe you are wishing that right now that you are a famous artist or celebrity. Whatever you are wishing, have you ever thought of the problems that come with it?

If you are a millionaire, then you have a problem of keeping your millions. If you are business owner, you have the problem of sustaining your business or keeping it afloat. If you are famous celebrity can you handle all the pressures of being famous?

If you think achieving your dreams will solve all your problems… well you must be in another universe or reality for that to happen. Only people who have R.I.P in their names are the only ones who have no problems. They are the only ones who are resting in peace.

You can see it in the news how some rich or successful people break because they can’t handle what they have. Many of them get addicted to drugs or sex. Some get in a lot of scandals because of their bloated ego and crazy behavior. There are a few who literally gone insane.

Why?

They could not handle the weight of glory.

Have you ever tried going to the gym for the first time and over work yourself by lifting too much weights? Probably you will get injured. If you are lucky, you will just have a heck of a lot of body pains when you wake up the next day.

So what happened?

Your body was not yet ready for that kind of intense exercise and tension. So you crash at the middle of it or afterwards. The proper way of weight lifting is to start lifting weights that your body can handle. Slowly and steadily you increase the weight of what you are lifting. You increase the tension and pressure moderately so your muscles can handle it. In this way, your muscles will grow properly.

It is the same with our dreams. If God gave us our dreams right now, most of us will crash. We still don’t have the capacity to carry the weight of our dreams.

Our daily struggles in life can be used to increase our capacity to handle our dreams. If you can’t handle little things how can you handle big things?

So don’t waste your daily struggles and trials. Use it as an opportunity to grow and increase your capacity to handle greater pressures in life.

And one day when you have expanded enough, God will grant your deepest longings of your heart.

Thank You:)

Thanx to all the people who made my blog a success... My average daily visitors list has gone to 106 now from 2(which it was on the very first day.. 1 me and other Swati Munjal). I thank you all for your support specially Swati :), Preetam, Rahul, Shreya, my siblings, and all who matter me.. :) keep smiling..keep living :)

Success..

The word “success” seems to be always in the air. Are you one of those who are trying to catch it? Grasp it? Breathe it?

The modern man seems to desire success more than ever. He has pursued it with much zeal and passion. He has gone to a lot of sacrifice in the name of “success.”

But only a few actually thought about the success they are pursuing. Most of us pursue success and not really have a clear end goal.

Why I am doing this? Why am I seeking success? Questions few actually ask and meditate. To fail to ask this question is to waste a life time of effort.

In us, lies an inherent longing for happiness, joy and eventually eternal bliss. God has left this desire for joy in our soul so that we will seek him, for only He can fully make us happy. He is the eternal bliss Himself. Look into yourself and you will see that most of your actions are fueled by the desire for joy.

When we look at it, we pursue success to be happy. Success is just the means to find joy. Some say that they pursue success to be fulfilled, but even fulfillment is accompanied by joy. That is how you can say to yourself you are fulfilled, when you have a sense of joy in you.

Our problem today is that we have sought the means and not the end. We have pursued success for its own sake. We seem to be obsessed with the process and not the product. We sought wealth crazily only to find in the end that our possessions did not make us happy. At that point we are left with the question “What now?” It is a question that has driven many to despair.

To try to be successful for the sake of “being successful” is to have an unsubstantial goal. Success is the process of buying the food, not the food itself. To get stuck in the process of buying the food is to end up hungry.

Being an accomplished person is not as the same as being a successful person. Hitler was able to accomplish to move Germany to war and kill millions of people. I have not seen Hitler’s name in any “success” books.

Can you consider a miserable person successful?

If you end up miserable in the process of pursuing success, then you just have defeated your purpose. All your accomplishments will mean nothing if you are not happy. You might have the resources to numb the pain, but it does not take it away.

“What profit a man to gain the whole world and loses his soul?” Jesus said.

Success is a tool for joy. It is a tool for love as well, for only love can bring us everlasting joy. If you really want to be successful in this life and the next, then you must make love your end goal.

If loving God and loving your neighbor is the motivation and end goal of your pursuit for success, then your success will be substantial and joyful. It is a success that you can take with you on the next life.

So what is your reason in pursuing success?

live in present.. :)

Are you living in the past, present or future?

Many of us are burdened, if not caught up with our past. More than the consequences of our past actions, we let the memory of the past drag us down. We like to hit the rewind button in our memory and lick the wounds of long ago. We open up one painful memory and then a sudden flood of other unpleasant memories comes rushing in. And downward spiral we go.

We spend most of our time entertaining our bitterness, pains and disappointments of yesterday. We even spend countless hours just imagining the day we will get our vindication or even vengeance from past hurts. As we waste our time dwelling in our past, our present is wasted as well. And the sad thing is that our today is our tomorrow’s yesterday. Wasting the present now is just adding up to our wasted past. And the vicious cycle continues.

Many of us are also so anxious about our future. While our bodies reside in the present moment, our mind has time traveled years from now. We spend much time being worried and gloomy to things that has not happened yet. We are so absorbed in the “What Ifs” that we forget the “What nows?”

Our present also affects our future very much. To have a better tomorrow is to have a better today. Our actions today will greatly affect our future, good or bad. To waste your time today being anxious about tomorrow is to waste the opportunity to improve your tomorrow.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Mt 6:34

To live life is to live in the present moment. The past is dead and the future is yet unborn. The key to healing the past and having a hopeful future lies to what you will decide to do NOW. Now is the only thing we really got. If you waste the present moment by dwelling in the past or being anxious about the future, you end up loosing everything.

The past belongs to God’s mercy, the future to His Providence and the present to His Love. To live in the present moment is to accept and experience God’s love here and now.

Today is your tomorrow’s past.

The way you live today will make your tomorrow better or bitter.

Today is where you are.

Are you there?

life..what is it?

Have you ever wondered what life really is all about? Have you ever questioned if there is a deeper kind of life than the one you are living?

Most of us seldom ask these questions when life is easy and going our way. We are preoccupied in enjoying ourselves with what we have and we never bother to really meditate about life’s meaning. When everything is all well, we have a tendency to focus on pleasuring ourselves. We have a lot to distract us from asking the big questions in life, like “What is it all about?”

These are where trials can help us.

Trials can be shock therapy to wake us from our self-absorption. When we are stripped of our pleasures and distractions, we are forced to look at life in a different way.

A rich person can fall to the trap of Materialism. His life meaning becomes accumulating objects instead of loving people. Since he has the money to fund his materialism, he can continue to distract himself and live a shallow life till the end of his days. Sometimes loosing his riches is the best remedy for him.

For an addict to be sober he must be cut off from his drugs. It is also true with us. We also need to be separated with the things that feed our disordered desires to achieve sobriety.

If a person thinks that life is all about wealth, and he loses his wealth, he is now forced to look life differently. He is now forced to learn to live life without his precious wealth. Now he is strained to move out from his narrow world and live in the real world. He now starts to search life’s meaning beyond what he always knew.

And those who seek shall find.

If you are experiencing trials maybe God permitted it to wake you up from your false view of life. Maybe it is God’s way to bring back sobriety in your life by cutting of all your distractions.

Many great people have found life’s meaning at their lowest point in life, maybe you are one of them.

Don’t waste your trials. Use them as opportunity to go deeper in life.