Love... give and give..

We often hear that to be in a good relationship there has to be a “give and take” within the partners. But I think sometimes the “give and take” mentality can get old quick because it has a tendency to be selfish. I give so I can take. Their giving becomes an indirect egotism.
There is no hidden agenda in real love. You love the person for the sake of the person and not because you can get something out of the person.
A real loving relationship practices “give and give.” There is no need for taking because the longings are being satisfied by the partner even before the other asks for it. A person who is deeply in love is focused on her beloved and not on himself. He wants to make his beloved happy. He puts her before himself every time in every thing. And she does the same.
Both are satisfied and fulfilled.
Both feel loved.
Most of us when we are considering entering into a relationship with someone ask this question, “What can I get from this person?” Another way of putting it is “What can this person give me?”
I think we should have a radical change of attitude if we want to experience real and lasting love. We must change the question “What can I get” to “What can I give to this person?”
The best example of this love is Jesus on the Cross. When Jesus let Himself get crucified, it was solely for you and me. There was no hidden agenda on Jesus’ suffering except our salvation. It was a totally selfless act. Jesus died because He loved you and me.
So if we want to have a beautiful relationship, we must learn to love like Jesus. Our love has to be totally unselfish and self-giving.
There is no greater love than to give one’s life for a friend..

Confidence or simply God-confidence

I have noticed that there are a lot of book about gaining self-confidence. There are also a lot of articles and talks on how to boost your self-esteem. If there are so many books, articles and talks on this topic, it means that there is a big market wanting such information. It also means that there are a lot of people who want to gain self-confidence.
Our society is plague with insecurity (which I personally blame advertising and the media) that self-confidence has become a precious commodity.
Self-confidence is a good thing. It helps one person to be positive and accomplish more. But I also believe it has limits.
Self-confidence is based on your “self.” It is based on what you have or what you can do. If you are honest with yourself, you know you have limits. You know that your self-confidence can only go so far. To go further is an illusion which many pop-psychologists preach these days. 
There is something better than self-confidence. God-confidence!
God-confidence is better because our confidence is based on the one who is God. We all have limits but God does not. When we put our trust on God, we can move mountains. What is impossible for man is possible for God.
Having a God-confidence also makes you more courageous. You know that you are being supported by Someone bigger than you. You know that God’s grace can accomplish anything, so you are not easily disheartened when you encounter a mountain on your way. You know God can move the mountain or lift you up to fly cross it. It also makes you more courageous because you know that God will catch you if you fall or make a mistake.
Having a God-confidence is also better because He does NOT change and we humans do. Self-confidence is based on your personal state. It is dependent on a lot of factors, like your health for one. If those factors are taken away from you, could still be self-confident?
It is hard to put your confidence in shifting sands. Humans are such fragile beings. Our self-confidence may shatter with one disease or accident. Or even just plain old age. But Jesus is eternal. He is unchangeable. He is the Rock we can build our confidence on. Jesus can still make us great even if we are stripped of all our strengths. It will be His strength that will lift us up.
Now THAT is confidence!

Live your DREAMS

Do you wish that right now you are living your dreams?

Maybe you are wishing that right now you are a millionaire or an owner of a company. Or maybe you are wishing that right now that you are a famous artist or celebrity. Whatever you are wishing, have you ever thought of the problems that come with it?

If you are a millionaire, then you have a problem of keeping your millions. If you are business owner, you have the problem of sustaining your business or keeping it afloat. If you are famous celebrity can you handle all the pressures of being famous?

If you think achieving your dreams will solve all your problems… well you must be in another universe or reality for that to happen. Only people who have R.I.P in their names are the only ones who have no problems. They are the only ones who are resting in peace.

You can see it in the news how some rich or successful people break because they can’t handle what they have. Many of them get addicted to drugs or sex. Some get in a lot of scandals because of their bloated ego and crazy behavior. There are a few who literally gone insane.

Why?

They could not handle the weight of glory.

Have you ever tried going to the gym for the first time and over work yourself by lifting too much weights? Probably you will get injured. If you are lucky, you will just have a heck of a lot of body pains when you wake up the next day.

So what happened?

Your body was not yet ready for that kind of intense exercise and tension. So you crash at the middle of it or afterwards. The proper way of weight lifting is to start lifting weights that your body can handle. Slowly and steadily you increase the weight of what you are lifting. You increase the tension and pressure moderately so your muscles can handle it. In this way, your muscles will grow properly.

It is the same with our dreams. If God gave us our dreams right now, most of us will crash. We still don’t have the capacity to carry the weight of our dreams.

Our daily struggles in life can be used to increase our capacity to handle our dreams. If you can’t handle little things how can you handle big things?

So don’t waste your daily struggles and trials. Use it as an opportunity to grow and increase your capacity to handle greater pressures in life.

And one day when you have expanded enough, God will grant your deepest longings of your heart.

Thank You:)

Thanx to all the people who made my blog a success... My average daily visitors list has gone to 106 now from 2(which it was on the very first day.. 1 me and other Swati Munjal). I thank you all for your support specially Swati :), Preetam, Rahul, Shreya, my siblings, and all who matter me.. :) keep smiling..keep living :)

Success..

The word “success” seems to be always in the air. Are you one of those who are trying to catch it? Grasp it? Breathe it?

The modern man seems to desire success more than ever. He has pursued it with much zeal and passion. He has gone to a lot of sacrifice in the name of “success.”

But only a few actually thought about the success they are pursuing. Most of us pursue success and not really have a clear end goal.

Why I am doing this? Why am I seeking success? Questions few actually ask and meditate. To fail to ask this question is to waste a life time of effort.

In us, lies an inherent longing for happiness, joy and eventually eternal bliss. God has left this desire for joy in our soul so that we will seek him, for only He can fully make us happy. He is the eternal bliss Himself. Look into yourself and you will see that most of your actions are fueled by the desire for joy.

When we look at it, we pursue success to be happy. Success is just the means to find joy. Some say that they pursue success to be fulfilled, but even fulfillment is accompanied by joy. That is how you can say to yourself you are fulfilled, when you have a sense of joy in you.

Our problem today is that we have sought the means and not the end. We have pursued success for its own sake. We seem to be obsessed with the process and not the product. We sought wealth crazily only to find in the end that our possessions did not make us happy. At that point we are left with the question “What now?” It is a question that has driven many to despair.

To try to be successful for the sake of “being successful” is to have an unsubstantial goal. Success is the process of buying the food, not the food itself. To get stuck in the process of buying the food is to end up hungry.

Being an accomplished person is not as the same as being a successful person. Hitler was able to accomplish to move Germany to war and kill millions of people. I have not seen Hitler’s name in any “success” books.

Can you consider a miserable person successful?

If you end up miserable in the process of pursuing success, then you just have defeated your purpose. All your accomplishments will mean nothing if you are not happy. You might have the resources to numb the pain, but it does not take it away.

“What profit a man to gain the whole world and loses his soul?” Jesus said.

Success is a tool for joy. It is a tool for love as well, for only love can bring us everlasting joy. If you really want to be successful in this life and the next, then you must make love your end goal.

If loving God and loving your neighbor is the motivation and end goal of your pursuit for success, then your success will be substantial and joyful. It is a success that you can take with you on the next life.

So what is your reason in pursuing success?